I already know all the reasons why I haven't forgiven him, even it's been a long time since we've broke up, even years. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just holding onto the grudge too long. But the feeling of betrayal, urghhh, I just can't forget. Kadang-kadang terdetik juga dalam hati, maybe it's the time to let him go. Maybe it's the time to try forgive him.
Sometimes, we think forgiving is a sign of weakness, when in fact it’s the opposite. Memaafkan tu dah cukup membuktikan we have that strength - strength to let go of the hurt and bitterness. Memaafkan perlu banyak kekuatan untuk usir segala sakit yang dah tertanam dalam hati, untuk buang rasa dendam yang tersimpan sekian lama. So orang yang memaafkan adalah orang yang kuat sebenarnya.
Forgiving him doesn’t mean what he did was okay. It just means that you know you’re bigger than the pain he tried to give to you, you’re stronger than any amount of brokenness he tried to leave you in. You should be proud - finally berjaya loloskan diri dari berdendam dengan kisah lalu, berjaya padamkan amarah, you should be proud that you can do the thing that people struggle to do all their lives.
I'm still struggling on this. Aku tahu kalau aku teruskan berdendam terhadap apa yang dah berlaku, terhadap setiap satu yang pernah melukakan, it's going to destroy me, perhaps even more than what they're did.
One day, I hope you can find a way to forget all the pain, leave it behind and never look back.
And maybe you’re not ready to forgive him yet. That’s okay too.