Kita  semua ada perasaan yang kita tak boleh nak brush off no matter how hard we've trying. I have one. I always thinking that you still love me, and at the same time I have a feeling that I'm not enough for you. And I keep blaming you for falling in love with another girl. Entahlah, that time I'm not angry, I just feel pain.

A part of me always felt yours, thinking I'm still yours,, and that's a word I hate to use. Even now, after blocking and walking away, masih ada something yang belum selesai. All day I thought about the countless things I always wanted to tell you but I never could. Tak tahu macam mana cara nak terus terang, plus I know it would be pointless. But I can't stop thinking them, feeling them. And yes, I once again break promises to myself - for not writing about you anymore :')

Kita mungkin takkan pernah berjumpa dan berhubung lagi, and maybe my words will never reach you, but in case if you're stalking me, in case you're reading this... I have to write this.

I loved you. You've always been there - in my mind. I loved you since the day we'd exchange our phone number.. A feelings that I can't describe. I'm so happy. A part of me will always loves you.

A part of me also hates you.. because you always told me that you loved me and how much you dreamed about being with me, you ruined it by telling me how you couldn't hurt her. You spit out the most beautiful words and the most painful words too. I hate you because I'm writing about you once again.

If you reading this, I miss you. Rindu yang terpaksa dipendam, sebab kalau diluahkan pun, tak berbalas. There's been so many times I've wanted to text you, to call you, but I can't. I'm not lost my love, but also my friend.. I miss how I ask for your advice, how we shared our thoughts on something, and I think that's the part I'll miss the most. I miss being friend with you.

Sebelum ni pun, when we still in a relationship, I always knew that there would come a point where I wouldn't have you in my life anymore, where I will lost you. It hurts. And I never thought I lost you so soon..

I'm hoping there will come a tomorrow where I miss you a little less. I'm hoping there comes a day I go on a date and you don't cross my mind. I hope the next time I place my heart in the hands of someone, it will remove that small part that used to have your name.. that your name will no longer be on it.

I miss you. But I want you to know, I'm working on not being yours anymore.

Labels: 2018, goodbyelove