And then it was all over. 

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

So often we met people and life seems to be going so well, but we all know nothing lasts forever. Semakin kuat kita bertahan pada hubungan yang gagal, semakin kita hilang kebahagiaan diri. I know it takes strength to move on. Bukan mudah melupakan semuanya.

But why some people go back to the broken relationships? Kita lagi memilih untuk struggle dengan hubungan lama berbanding step out and move on. Yes, susah untuk sesetengah dari kita give up macam tu je, mungkin kita takut tak jumpa orang yang lebih baik dari dia.

He cheated, she cried.
He apologized, she took him back, he cheated again.
This just seemed to be the cycle of your relationship. Why do people go back to situation like that? Dalam hubungan sebegini, segala yang wujud adalah pembohongan dan pengkhianatan semata-mata.

So, don't go back. Ada sebabnya kenapa sesebuah hubungan tu not working. Going back to broken relationships are just ; walking back to broken pieces. You will never be able to move forward.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

I really miss him :(

Everything just reminds me of him. The places that we used to go, the conversation that we had, the memories both of us that I still can't let go. I'm so tired. Because I've tried my best, yet it is just not good enough.

Everyday I pack my days with so many activities, even in weekend, saja sibukkan diri so that I'm not lonely. But somehow, bila malam, duduk sorang-sorang, still teringat kenangan lepas. Kadang rasa penat dah cuba macam-macam  but end up, all I want is talk to you again. Kadang dah hampir lupa how you hurt me so much, because I only remember our good time together. I wish I could give anything to go back. But I know, I shouldn't go back.

I know, this is just a temporary weakness. It will pass, as it always will. Going back to him takkan merubah apa-apa. He's still the person he is, because time won't change him. I'm probably insane expecting different results.. sebab tiga kali cuba, tiga kali jugak gagal. And it hurts so much, facing the same pain numerous times. And also, it's heartbreaking to break your own heart for someone who is unable to give you the love you deserve.

It's okay to miss him, normal lah kalau rasa macam tu. But I have to accept that whatever went down between me and him, it should stay in the past. If I'm going backwards, it just delay my healing process and it would reopen my wounds. If I refuse to let go of the past, I will probably unable to cherish my present. I will only making my life harder than it has to be.

DON'T LOVE SOMEONE TO THE POINT OF HATING YOURSELF. DON'T CLING ONTO THE PAST SO TIGHTLY. DON'T GO BACK TO WHAT HAD HURT YOU SO MANY TIMES

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

I wish there was a way to forget all the memories we shared. All the places we went, all the laughs we shared together, I wish I could forget it because it haunt me always. Sekarang, tiap kali lalu dekat tempat-tempat dating kita, it hurts and breaks me :( Kenapa kenangan tu segar sangat dalam minda, I wish I could forget it, but in fact, I can't get away from it. It's like I'm living in a nightmare, because every corner reminds me of you.

I can't stop remembering every single detail about you, setiap perkara, baik kecil atau besar tentang kita semua masih segar dalam ingatan. Your smile, your giggles, the way you walk, the way you eat, the way your eyes staring at me, the way you look at me and smile :( It's constant memory of what I don't have anymore. Faham tak rasa pedih tu macam mana? When he's so close but yet so far from you.

I wish to forget. How I wish I could make new memories dengan someone else. Bukannya hanya mengharapkan kita dapat ulang that memories. But I can't :( Yes, I wish so many things, but most of all, I wish you loved me back.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Nasihat buat yang baru putus cinta. Maybe this goes against nasihat-nasihat yang pernah korang dengar untuk move on. Maybe I'm completely wrong, but nahhh, this is from my point of view kayyy.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Right now, I am here - without you. Untuk kali ini, aku ajar hati supaya okay dengan keadaan begini. Right now, I am learning that it is okay to stop fighting, it is okay to let things be. Mungkin di masa akan datang, kita bahagia. You and I. We are happy together. This time, I am taking all the trips we planned alone. This time, I am healing, I am growing, I am stretching into the space you used to occupy in my life. This time, I am moving on biarpun nampak tempang, biarpun dalam perjalanan ke depan seperti rasa sesuatu tertinggal di belakang. This time, I am setting you free.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

I hope she makes you smile, bigger than I could.
I hope she takes care of you in ways I couldn't.
I hope she fills the void I refused to fill for so long.
I hope she's everything I'm not.

Well.. no ! I don't

Deep down I'm hoping it doesn't work out.
I'm hoping she messes up.

And come back if you get a chance. I'll be here. Always.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

In a relationship, you will eventually come to the point where you have to make the choice : stay and fight atau pergi. And sadly, most people will leave. Regardless of the love, regardless of the person, they will run.. because it's easier.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

We need to learn to be appreciative and grateful for everything we have and everything we are going to receive. Sebab kita tak dapat predict, we really don't know berapa lama bahagia tu kita pegang. In a relationship, people tend to get so comfortable and as a result, it become bored and complicated. If you take something for granted, you don't worry or think about it because you assume you will always have it, you will never lose it.

And only after the relationship has been ruined you will realize the terrible, irreversible mistakes you have made. At this point, it's too late.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

When your ex crawling back to you...

It will be amazing at first. They will give you a feeling that no one else could give so far. Rasa kembali bernyawa - like a little kid seeing the world for the first time. Untuk kali ini, you will feel like life makes sense again. Hanya kerana kehadiran kembali dia yang pernah pergi. The one that almost broke you, they show up. Dan kita yang pernah ditinggalkan ni rasa bahagia, sebab fikir ada harapan untuk jadi "macam dulu".

Tapi jangan lupa, malam-malam yang mendengar tangisan kita, you cried till you had no tears left. Kosong. Jangan lupa dia pernah kecewakan kita dengan perginya dia untuk yang lain. Jangan lupa segala janji yang dia permainkan. Jangan lupa setiap peluang yang dia persiakan. Jangan lupa kesakitan yang kita rasa. Jangan pernah lupa, orang yang sayang kita takkan sakiti kita.

Why they come back? Because they know you love them. They know you will always take them back. They will always use you to feel good. And guess what, mungkin dia akan pergi lagi untuk kesekian kalinya.. Sebab apa? Sebab dia tahu, nanti-nanti dia datang, kita jemput dia masuk lagi.

We deserve someone who never leaves when things get hard, when life becomes complicated, when you're lost and confused, someone who never get swayed no matter how many people are trying to get their attention. We all deserve it.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

There's nothing in life that will make you stronger or screw you up more than heartbreak. Once we experience such a heartbreak, we are never again the same. Kita akan berubah. We begin to look at love and life through a different shade of glass. Ada yang sampai dah mula tak percayakan cinta.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Perempuan ni dia boleh jadi bodoh sebodohnya bila terlalu sayangkan seseorang. Datang la seribu orang pon nasihatkan dia supaya tinggalkan atau lupakan that guy, tapi kalau bukan dengan kerelaan hati dia, dia takkan tinggalkan. Even dah macam-macam lelaki tu buat dekat dia, menipu, curang and whatsoever, hell no dia takkan pergi. Takkan berganjak walau seinci, hati tu tetap nak sayang jugak.. Biar la kawan-kawan cakap "ehh kau ni bodoh la still pertahankan relationship yang menyakitkan hati" "kenapa kau setia lagi dengan dia even dia dah buat macam macam dekat kau"

Perempuan takkan peduli, selagi hati masih sayang.

Tapi, once dia dah tawar hati, tak payah lah kau terhegeh-hegeh nak pujuk, bak datang lah lombong emas pon, dia takkan peduli *okay lombong emas tu tipu lahh*

Bila dah tawar hati, dia sendiri yang angkat kaki.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Bila rasa sedih. atau apa-apa perasaan selain daripada gembira, I tend to shove those feelings away. I push them aside and decide I'm not going to feel that way. No no. Taknak lah rasa sedih, marah, kecewa or whatsoever. Nak happy je 24 jam boleh? Biar orang tengok I bahagia je everyday :)

Pernah dulu ada kawan tanya "Kau ni happy je, takde masalah ke?" Rasa nak tunjal dahi dia 4 kali, ada ke orang yang takde masalah dalam dunia ni. But I'll always pretend yang I okay je, I'm happy, but then rasa fake lah pulak ! I know it's hard to admit that you're not okay. Takutnya bila orang anggap kita lemah "elehh dia ni sikit-sikit nak nangis, sikit-sikit sedih, tak sado langsung" Jadi kita simpan perasaan tu, kita pendam, tunjuk di luaran yang everythings fine.

Tapi sebenarnya it's not normal to pretend like you don't have feelings. Feelings are feelings, they need to be felt.. It's okay to admit that you're not okay.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

I remember when I was at my lowest point, heartbroken and confused. I tried everything I could to make things better. I tried spending more time dengan keluarga dan kawan-kawan, and all of the things that everyone suggested to me.. I tried all of them.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

I promise you from the bottom of my heart, being yourself will take you so far in life. Jadi seorang perempuan ni, dah berjuta kali aku dengar "you would look better with this, or this, or if you do this"- To any girl out there, just know that no matter what you wear, what you put on your face, it should never be for someone else.

If you're doing something yang you tak suka but someone else wants you to do it, you need to stop. Contohnya pasangan korang selalu complain korang tak cantik, look so pale without make up or whatsoever. Yelah on the bright side korang boleh la consider that as ruang untuk perbaiki diri. But if he always ask you to change, then ask yourself if this is someone you want in your life.. like really want?

This is your life. Totally you. So be yourself. Don't try to be anyone else. Don't do things just because other people ask you to do so. It's okay to be exactly who you are.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Beginnings are beautiful. They can be different from what we are used to, sometimes it can be hard to adapt, but there's just something so beautiful about new beginnings. Orang kata tutup buku lama, buka buku baru.

Bila kita buat keputusan untuk memulakan hidup baru, it is so refreshing you know? You say goodbye to bad habits of your past and say hello to healthier life. Buang sifat hasad dengki, cemburu dan segala macam perangai keji yang kita ada, cuba jadi seorang yang baru, yang tak rasa sakit bila orang beli sofa baru, tak rasa dengki bila orang naik pangkat, and so on.. pelihara jiwa agar lebih suci.

You decide to meet new people who lift you up, motivate you, and get rid of the ones who don't appreciate you. A new beginning mean freeing yourself. Keluar dari tampuk lama. Buat sesuatu perubahan ke arah yang lebih baik. Lupakan masa silam yang menyakitkan. Like really freeing yourself.

But I know, we aren't always ready for a change. Kita takut nak keluar dari dunia kita, dari siapa diri kita sebelum ni. Kita dah terbiasa dengan cara hidup yang lama. Our fear of unknown will hold us back. Ada dua simpang, yang kanan hari-hari kita lalu, yang kiri tak pernah lalu. Kita takut nak ubah arah sebab kita tak tahu simpang kiri tu akan bawa kita kemana. But trust me, as long as kita nak ke arah kebaikan, there is a way ~

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Forgiving someone doesn't mean their behaviour was okay. Memaafkan seseorang bererti anda selangkah bersedia untuk move on, untuk melupakan, to release the heavy weight.. forgiveness is pure freedom ! I know how it's like when someone you kenal dan percaya, do something you never thought..

Memaafkan tak bermakna kita kalah, but making peace about what happened.. baik untuk diri sendiri, because you choose to let it go instead of allowing it to destroy you..

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

We want people in our lives who want to spend time with us, bukan menghampiri kita bila perlukan sesuatu. We want people who choose us back, who don't dissappear when someone else comes around. Its soooo frustrating when it seems like you put everyone first, but you're just a second thought to them.

People aren't just toys yang you can put aside when you found a new collection/favorite. Kita manusia yang ada perasaan, we have insecurities !

I would rather be dead on your list than be a second. It really crushes me when I don't feel important to someone who is so important to me   :(

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Welcome to mid 20s ! This is definitely a trying time for us. We're currently stepping into the next threshold of life and trying to figure things out for ourselves. We now have bills and responsibilities ! Haha..

Seperti pepatah "Perjalanan diri kita menuju kita" We're busy figuring, our likes, our dislikes.

For so long, I have always cared about those round me more than myself. I have struggle with image issues and my self-confidence about my weight. Selalu peduli bila orang cakap "ehh jerawat banyaklah" "nampak gemuk" "yg ni tak cantik tak suit you".. always. Sampailah one day I terfikir, sampai bila nak biar orang yang tentukan pilihan kita?

If you want to change something, you have to do it yourself.

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove

Another new month or perhaps another year over and you're still troubled with hubungan percintaan yang putus di tengah jalan. The whole things is dragging on too long - kenapa susah sangat nak get over it?

why?

Mungkin, something remain unsaid for you. That's why your feelings remain strong.
Mungkin, separuh jiwa anda masih menyangka ada harapan untuk bersama kembali.
Mungkin, anda takut tak akan jumpa lagi pasangan sepertinya.

Yes. You won't meet anyone like your ex, but InsyaAllah you will meet someone, just they will be different. Explore all this !

Labels: 2017, goodbyelove